When it's not about you, but it involves you

Insightful and self-aware leaders get to the point of understanding that some things that go on in the system are not about them. In time, and with work, they may even be able to not take reactivity from others personally, even when they come in the form of a personal attack. The dilemma for the leader, however, is the reality that while it may not be "about me," the mere fact that the leader is in the position of leadership in the system means that at some level, and to some extent, the issue will involve him or her.  

10 leadership Commandments for Clergy

There is no end to spin offs and parodies on The Ten Commandments (Exodus 20). I thought I'd add to the mix by offering 10 Leadership Commandments for Clergy from a systems theory point of view. Here is my playful list. What would be yours? 

1. Thou shalt not make thyself dependent on the Church for your salvation, for she is not your God.
2. Thou shalt cultivate your relationship with your family of origin, for it is your once and future hope.
3. Thou shalt not sacrifice your family and its members for the sake of ministry, for they are your first ministry.
4. Thou shalt not accommodate to weakness, neither in yourself or in others. For fear, timidity, insecurity, and neediness are a lack of faith.
5. Thou shalt not create the congregation in your image, for that is willfulness and a form of idolatry.
6. Thou shalt practice courage and persistence of vision in the face of opposition, for a system needs its leader.
7. Thou shalt invest in other people's growth---your staff, your employees, your congregational members--for that is an aid to differentiation.
8. Thou shalt master triangles, for they shall be with you till the end of time.
9. Thou shalt practice responsible stewardship of your calling. Invest in your own growth and development: personal, spiritual, emotional, physical, mental, and professional, for a church can only be as healthy as its leader.
10. Thou shalt embrace imagination and adventure, for they will get you farther along on the journey. 

Israel Galindo is Associate Dean, Lifelong Learning at the Columbia Theological Seminary. Formerly he was Dean at the Baptist Theological Seminary at Richmond. Galindo serves on the Advisory Committee of the Wabash Center for Teaching in Theology and Religion and is available as consultant through the Center in the areas of curriculum development and assessment, leadership, and teaching and learning in theological education. In the fall of 2014 the Center for Lifelong Learning will offer the Leadership in Ministry Workshops, a clergy leadership development program from a Bowen Systems Theory framework. Check the Center's listing for more details.

10 Leadership Quotes from Edwin Friedman

Few have helped re-frame the understanding of leadership in organizations within this generation as has Edwin Friedman. Expanding Bowen Family Systems Theory from its clinical therapeutic context to the contexts of religious institutions and organizations, Friedman's writings have offered a new frame of reference for what it means to be a leader. A brilliant mind, sharp wit, and occasional curmudgeon, Friedman is often as insightful as he is subversive. Below are ten quotes on leadership from his writings worth pondering. 

1. “The colossal misunderstanding of our time is the assumption that insight will work with people who are unmotivated to change. Communication does not depend on syntax, or eloquence, or rhetoric, or articulation but on the emotional context in which the message is being heard. People can only hear you when they are moving toward you, and they are not likely to when your words are pursuing them. Even the choicest words lose their power when they are used to overpower. Attitudes are the real figures of speech.”

2. "Leadership can be thought of as a capacity to define oneself to others in a way that clarifies and expands a vision of the future."

3. "The colossal misunderstanding of our time is the assumption that insight will work with people who are unmotivated to change."

4. "In any type of institution whatsoever, when a self-directed, imaginative, energetic, or creative member is being consistently frustrated and sabotaged rather than encouraged and supported, what will turn out to be true one hundred percent of the time, regardless of whether the disrupters are supervisors, subordinates, or peers, is that the person at the very top of that institution is a peace-monger."

5. Leaders need "... to focus first on their own integrity and on the nature of their own presence rather than through techniques for manipulating or motivating others."

6. "Sabotage . . . comes with the territory of leading.... And a leader's capacity to recognize sabotage for what it is---that is, a systemic phenomenon connected to the shifting balances in the emotional processes of a relationship system and not to the institution's specific issues, makeup, or goals---is the key to the kingdom."

7. "...leadership is essentially an emotional process rather than a cognitive phenomenon..."

8. "...'no good deed goes unpunished'; chronic criticism is, if anything, often a sign that the leader is functioning better! Vision is not enough."

9. "Living with crisis is a major part of leaders' lives. The crises come in two major varieties: (1) those that are not of their making but are imposed on them from outside or within the system; and (2) those that are actually triggered by the leaders through doing precisely what they should be doing."

10. "..the risk-averse are rarely emboldened by data."

Sources: A Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix (Seabury Books, 2007); Generation to Generation: Family Process in Church and Synagogue (The Guilford Press, 1985).
Israel Galindo is Associate Dean for Lifelong Learning at the Columbia Theological Seminary. Formerly, he was Dean at the Baptist Theological Seminary at Richmond. He is the author of the bestseller, The Hidden Lives of Congregations (Alban), Perspectives on Congregational Ministry (Educational Consultants), and A Family Genogram Workbook (Educational Consultants), with Elaine Boomer and Don Reagan. Galindo also contributes to the Wabash Center's blog for theological school deans.

Cultivating Insight

I'm taking my own advice on being a reflective practitioner (Dewey, Schon, Schein, etc.) by taking a moment to cultivate insights from this year. Being attentive to my own experience, and, being regularly engaged with leaders in coaching and consultations can yield rich insights for growth--but it's necessary to remind oneself that insight rarely comes without reflection. My primary orientation in working with clients, and, in self-assessment is Bowen Systems Theory. The theory's focus on emotional process, differentiation of self, and the organic dynamics of relationship systems continues to "ring true" in working with both individuals and complex, often highly anxious, emotional systems. 

Here are random insights and thoughts that have come from taking stock. No major new insights here, but, as even St. Paul wrote, being reminded of what we know is of some benefit :

Bowen Systems Theory continues to be a powerful resource for interpreting and understanding emotional process. Few other frames of references yield as helpful insights into the nature of relationships, their dynamics, and my own internal emotional processes. 

Understanding emotional process provides a helpful corrective to an overfocus on individual behaviors. Personalities and individual foibles aside, most behavior is best understood by a person's place in the system and the context of that system (it's "emotional field"). 

Despite the recent glut in books about the theory there are few new insights that I can discern. I’m waiting for the “next big thing” in the theory (or, "BFST 2.0" as I put it). Perhaps it is still too early in the life of the theory for theory-development. 

No matter how well you understanding the theory, when you’re in the midst of your own emotional fields and systems, you need a coach or consultant to help you see what’s going on. It's important to remember that goes for those of us in the helping professions too!

No matter how well you understand the concepts of the theory, it always comes down to your own emotional functioning in the system.

Family of origin dynamics are powerful lifelong forces and are more important than we tend to realize.

Family of origin emotional functioning is with us for a lifetime. If you're stuck on a relationship or issue, go to your genogram. 

Most of us tend to be unaware of the disconnect between what we say we believe and how we actually function.

If you want to understand what’s really going on try to identify the triangles in the system.

If you really want to understand what’s going on examine multigenerational transmission's influence on the situation and the persons involved.

We can only function out of our strengths and limitations. When we are under stress or experiencing acute anxiety the default functioning tends to be out of our limitations (so, develop your strengths and work on your reducing limitations)

I continue to find it more helpful to focus on people’s functioning than to spend time wondering about, ascribing, or trying to interpret their motives.

There is great benefit in re-visiting the “original manuscripts” of the theory. While their clinical therapy focus is somewhat removed from how most of us tend to apply the theory (to congregational systems and to “leadership”), the literature provides important correctives for clergy who tend toward the metaphorical in their thinking.

Ultimately the real task of working on the theory is our own personal maturity, emotional health, and capacity to be in relationships in healthier ways.

What insights surface for you as you reflect on your own functioning and in your efforts at living out of principles, values, and your own operational frameworks? 

Israel Galindo is Associate Dean for Lifelong Learning at the Columbia Theological Seminary. Formerly, he was Dean at the Baptist Theological Seminary at Richmond. He is the author of the bestseller, The Hidden Lives of Congregations (Alban), Perspectives on Congregational Ministry (Educational Consultants), and A Family Genogram Workbook (Educational Consultants), with Elaine Boomer and Don Reagan. Galindo contributes to the Wabash Center's blog for theological school deans. 

Leading in an Anxious System: What is a leader to do?

Persons who step up to leadership tend to be motivated, smart, and sincere in their desire for success, for themselves and for the organization. Some leaders are go-getters who want to fix a system (and the people in it). They want to create a successful organization and will take on the challenge of "changing the system." When they've had success in a previous context they will tend to enter a challenging dysfunctional system with the confidence that they will be able to duplicate the successes made in one context in another. The liability here, of course, is the tendency to focus leadership on the personality of the leader and failing to take into account the reality that (1) not all systems are created equal, and (2) leadership is as much a function of the system as it is of the individual designated "leader" in the system. 

The corrective to the perils of a personality-focused leadership is the appreciation that leadership is always contextual, and, context matters a lot. Not all systems are alike, though systems tend to be "of a kind." A biological family system is not the same as a congregational relationship system, even if the church is made up of families. A for-profit business is not the same as a non-profit organization, even when both provide the same service. A theological school is not a church community, even though both share similar beliefs and practices. Effective leaders understand that the function of leadership is as much (if not more) a product of the system than of the personality of the leader in the system. Therefore, leaders must understand the context and type of system they are in. 

Two recent conversations with highly motivated but frustrated leaders underscored the importance of understanding one's system. Both are smart, experienced, and confident leaders. Both have had successes at former contexts in similar systems (one a non-profit organization and one in an congregational context). But both are very frustrated at the slow pace of change they are making helping their organizations succeed. Both express a feeling of being stuck and facing problems they are not able to "fix" for the first time. One said, "It feels like pushing against Jello around here." The other said, "At this point I'd settle for us just being a healthier place." 

These leaders were facing the particular challenge of trying to lead chronically anxious systems. These types of systems are structured with chronic anxiety as an integral part of their homeostasis and patterns of emotional process. They come about when their structure: (1) makes someone in the system responsible for someone else's functioning, (2) has triangles as a patterned way for emotional processes, and (3) is designed so as to inhibit the effectiveness of the leader. At best, these systems lack the internal resources to improves, and, at worst, they are highly resistant to change and tend to have a perverse devotion to their dysfunction. Any leader with Messianic leanings will become prone to burnout in such systems. 

Does this mean these leaders should just give up on their systems? No, I still think the presence of a mature and effective leader remains one of the most significant factors in helping a system function better, if not realize success. But it can help to adjust one's assumptions, perspectives, and functioning as leader in an chronically anxious system stuck in its dysfunction. The challenge for leaders in this context is to adjust their leadership functioning without accommodating to the system. 

In what ways might high-performing leaders adjust their perspective, expectations and functioning in a chronically anxious system? Here are some ways: 

Work at containing the toxins in the system to empower the strengths in the system. Toxic elements include those who sabotage efforts, become entrenched, gossip, are willful, act irresponsibly or act as terrorists in the system. These persons impede progress and keep the system stuck by holding others emotionally hostage, being a distraction, or actively undermine the efforts of others in the system. In chronically anxious systems that lack capacity for dealing with these persons, it is the leader who must provide appropriate intervention. 

Invest in and release the high performers. As leaders contain the toxins in the system they will be able to release and empower the high performers in the system. Dealing with the toxic members of the system takes a lot of energy, but leaders should make it appear that they are investing more time and attention to the healthy and most motivated persons in the system. Give them the support and resources they need and soon they'll learn to take their cues from you, the leader, rather than from the naysayers and chicken-littles in the system. 

Inculcate accountability. Chronically anxious systems tend to have developed a pattern of not holding persons accountable. This enables underfunctioners and underperformers to "set the tone" for the work ethic in the system. Leaders in this kind of system must address these unprofessional and irresponsible behaviors. 

Be responsible for your office and your functioning. Balance with the above, leaders in dysfunctional systems do better in focusing on taking responsibility for their own functioning and responsibilities while not making themselves responsible for other people's functioning. It sounds paradoxical, but it appears universally true that to the extent a leader can do this, the system functions better. 

Give up expectations of outcomes. "A leader can only accomplish what the system allows," claimed Edwin Friedman. Chronically anxious systems with high levels of dysfunction tend to lack the internal capacity to attain goals, realize vision and live into the mission of the organization. A leader who inflicts lofty goals and specific outcomes on this system is setting up him or herself, and the system, for disappointment and frustration. It is likely these systems need to focus on being "better" before they are able to focus on doing and producing "more." However, while the leader will do well to lower his or her personal expectations, it is appropriate to demand more of the system--the best people in the system will step up.  

Gain clarity about your goals and your tenure in office. What do YOU want to accomplish in your tenure as a leader is a better orientation than what you want the system to accomplish. Remember that it is willfulness that brings out the toxicity in a system. Focus on your goals as a leader over any goals for the system. 

Gain clarity about the function you serve in the system (the one you desire and the ones the system assigns to you). Entrenched and systems with rigidity in their emotional process tend to assign roles and functions to individuals in the system. Double so for leaders in chronically anxious systems. The roles, with accompanying functions are varied: rescuer, fixer, scapegoat, etc. Whether you like it or not, a chronically anxious system will assign you the role it expects of its leader based on rigidly patterned relationship structures. Leaders in these systems do not have to accept those roles and expectations, but should not be surprised about how they will continue to haunt them as long as they remain in the position or leader. 

Build a narrative for success (vision, identity, values). Every system needs and craves direction from its leader; they want that "vision thing." Chronically anxious and dysfunctional systems tend to build a narrative of victimization and defeat over time. Leaders can "re-wire" the self perception and outlook of a system by creating a new narrative for the system. This can be done in many ways, from re-interpreting past crises, nodal events, and critical instances, to providing a narrative for the future of the system. Effective leaders tend to not underestimate the function of the leader as resident storyteller and interpreter of the systems' narrative because they know it is one way to shape its identity.

Leadership is a product of a system, more so than a function of one individual's personality, skills, or competence. As such, leaders do well to understand the nature of the system they lead and the context in which it resides. In this way, leaders can move toward being more effective by providing the leadership function the system actually needs through adaptation rather than accommodation. 

Israel Galindo is Associate Dean for Lifelong Learning at the Columbia Theological Seminary. Formerly, he was Dean at the Baptist Theological Seminary at Richmond. He is the author of the bestseller, The Hidden Lives of Congregations (Alban), Perspectives on Congregational Leadership (Educational Consultants), and A Family Genogram Workbook (Educational Consultants), with Elaine Boomer and Don Reagan. Galindo contributes to the Wabash Center's blog for theological school deans. 

Got skills? The essential skills for effectiveness and Success

I enjoy the Facebook group "Things they didn't teach us at seminary." Apparently, there's a LOT of things seminaries don't teach, and which, seminarians don't realize they need to learn. Certainly, that's as it must be. No formal educational program can teach everything one needs to know, in whatever field or profession. Still, it begs the question about what it is that "ought" to be taught. Or, what is most necessary to be learned? Where is the balance between theory and practice? Or, this question: What are the fundamental skills needed for effectiveness and success?

Trilling and Fadel, in 21st Century Skills, Learning for life in our times (2009)  cite a study that lists eight essential skills for the 21st century leader (1). They are: 

Oral and written communication

Critical thinking and problem solving

Professionalism and work ethic

Teamwork and collaboration

Working with diverse teams and partners

Applying technology

Leadership and project management

Emotional Intelligence.

Reflecting on my own professional experience, that list seems spot on (and I'm hard pressed to add anything to the list aside from "appreciation for the aesthetic," a quality that can be embedded in several of those skills). My assessment is based not only on reflection on those skills that have made me effective to one degree or another, but also, reflecting on what tends to get leaders "stuck" and ineffective. Upon further reflection I must confess that only two items on the list were learned during my formal educational experience. Even then, I did not achieve a level of passable competence until the post-formal educational experience in "the real world." 

The nature of these skills are multidimensional, multifaceted, integrative, and are acquired and honed over time. In other words, there are maturational and experiential dimensions to these skills which result in capacity, know-how, and competence. For example, it's doubtful one can achieve a high degree of professionalism and work ethic without a corresponding high level of emotional intelligence. With a lack of critical thinking skills, one's ability to do effective project management is limited. And we can write volumes on the outcome that is the integration of leadership, emotional intelligence, teamwork, and working with others. Emotional intelligence rarely comes without some maturation, and, good writers and public speakers emerge after countless hours at the craft--with the just the right balance of successes and failures to yield expertise. One good news is that no one needs to be an expert in any one, or even several, but effective leaders have some level of competence in the cluster. 

The notion that we don't learn everything in school, whether university or seminary, is merely a confession that learning is a lifelong necessity. One of our greatest liabilities is that along the way, despite years of being "students," we never learn how to learn. So, if I were to add one more critical skill needed for effectiveness and success, it would be: being a lifelong learner who has learned how to learn. 

(1) Citing, Conference Board, Partnership for 21st Century Skills, Corporate Voices for Working Families, & Society for Human Resource Management, 2006.

Israel Galindo is Associate Dean, Lifelong Learning at the Columbia Theological Seminary. 

Leading Amidst Reactivity

Leadership may be a romantic notion for the naive and inexperienced, but in reality, it's a tough business. Few do it well, fewer still excel at it. In large part, I think this is because, as Edwin Friedman posited, leadership is more a function of emotional process than expertise or competence. Simply put, leadership is about dealing with people, not things. And when you deal with people, you have to deal with emotional process.

Perhaps no other quality is more determinative of an effective leader than the capacity to deal with reactivity in emotional process. Reactivity is a product of anxiety. Leaders who work in chronically anxious systems will be most challenged by this fact, and, I suspect most leaders function in chronically anxious systems. As such, the capacity to lead in the midst of reactivity is one of the keys to effective leadership. Author John Galbraith stated, "All of the great leaders have had one characteristic in common: it was the willingness to confront unequivocally the major anxiety of their people in their time. This, and not much else, is the essence of leadership."

The prerequisite for dealing with reactivity in an anxious system, however, is the capacity of the leader to manage her or his own reactivity in the context of an anxious system. In essence, it is the ability to differentiate oneself as leader amidst the swirl of emotional process, especially in times of reactivity.
Reactivity vs. Sabotage

Leaders can help manage their own anxiety by discerning the difference between reactivity and sabotage. Reactivity is a merely an unthinking, automatic, anxious response to perceived or actual threat. Any time a leader proposes change in a system, you can expect it to be perceived as "threat" at some level, and, it will be accompanied by some level of reactivity. So, the first step in self-regulation for the leader is to just expect it--it's the norm.
Often all that is needed from the leader is to recognize reactivity: "Ah, there it is." What form reactivity takes, and who in the system manifests reactivity through automatic repertoires may be a product of the context and culture of a particular system. Because reactivity is an unthinking automatic response, it's not creative. Reactivity gets "patterned" in systems, to the point one can predict, to some extent, the ways (and sometimes who) a particular system is likely to "react" to threat, perceived or actual. Insofar as one is able to do so, a leader can develop his or her repertoire to respond to reactivity. Since reactivity is unimaginative, it almost does not matter WHAT the leader does, and matters more that the leader responds in non-reactive ways to the reactivity in the system (do not add fuel to the fire).

Helpful Responses to Reactivity:

Develop discernment of emotional process. Accept that reactivity is a normal response to threat.

Practice perspective-taking. Keep the end in view and accept reactivity as the first step in the process of change.

Cultivate self-awareness. Focus as much on your inner emotional process as on the emotional process of the system. Regulate your own anxiety and increase your capacity to make appropriate responses.

Develop a repertoire of responses. Your repertoire can span the options of ignoring it to providing a rationale response, but one necessary response is staying connected.

Sabotage, in contrast to reactivity, is another thing altogether. It goes beyond being an unthinking response to perceived threat. Sabotage is a willful act which has intent to subvert or undermine. It must be addressed because willfulness introduces toxicity in the system, detracts from the issue at hand, and derails process.

Helpful Responses to Sabotage.

Cultivate persistence of vision. To help the system get to where it's going, you'll need to navigate through all that's in between here and there. Focus on the there.

Follow your guiding principles, live up to your standards. "Hold yourself responsible for a higher standard than anybody expects of you. Never excuse yourself," said Henry Ward Beecher.

Raise your tolerance level for pain. Remember that when reactivity is directed at the leader, it's not about you, it's about the leader.

Remember your leadership function in the system.

Be flexible, and if necessary, prepare to be resilient.

Leaders need to learn to function in the midst of reactivity. In fact, their capacity to do that well may be the most valuable gift they provide to the systems they lead. Douglas McArthur said, "A true leader has the confidence to stand alone, the courage to make tough decisions, and the compassion to listen to the needs of others. He does not set out to be a leader, but becomes one by the equality of his actions and the integrity of his intent."

Israel Galindo is Associate Dean for Lifelong Learning at the Columbia Theological Seminary. He is the author of Perspectives on Congregational Leadership, and The Hidden Lives of Congregations. He contributes to the Wabash Center's blog for theological school deans.